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RESOURCE MATERIAL

A conversation with my being…………………

 

I have to write something about the Junior Park.  Should I write or not write? Mind is wavering aimlessly. Hundred other things are coming to the mind. I have to do this, I have to do that. So many things I have to do. But why I have to do so many things? Why am I living with this pressure? Can I try to live without this? Can I live in this moment only? No other thing. Only, me, my being, this place and this time……….

What is this blankness? Should I call it silence? No past, no future, only the present is present. What are my senses doing now?

Oh: the touch of the soft sand, cool breeze. I am lying in the green grass. I am lying in my mother’s lap. Let me close my eyes. All my tiredness, all my tensions, all my worries are going far, far away…..
I am so free now. Is this is called peace? ……………….

 

What is this smell? Is this the smell of mother earth? Can I purify my being with this cool refreshing air?
Should I open my eyes? The sunshine passing through the trees, feeling my being with warmth and light. Life is so beautiful. Above my head, the blue infinite sky endlessly spreading itself…………. Where is the beginning? Where is the end? Can I widen myself like that? Can I unify my being with this infiniteness?

 

What is didi doing there? How beautifully those sands flying along with the air; Isn’t it we call surrender? Giving everything and letting the creator to do everything…………

A child of this earth……
{Written during a Wednesday class}

6th February, 2007

While reading this book (‘Rethinking on ends and means in education’ by Prof. Iyengar) I am recalling one incident which I heard from his daughter Dr. Prema Nandakumar in a talk in the ashram meditation hall. What she said in that talk is like this: After completing my M.A., my father told me to do Ph.d. in Sri Aurobindo’s epic poem Savitri. So I did that and at that time it was a great achievement. But in spite of that I was a housewife that time. Once while washing the utensils I told to my father in an irritating voice, “You told me to do Ph. D. on Savitri just to wash the utensils all my life?” My father answered it in a very humorous way, “No, I told you to do Ph. D. on Savitri to learn to wash the utensils with the right kind of consciousness that God is present everywhere and while washing the utensils one should feel that he/she is washing the feet of the Lord.. His saying taught me a great lesson that is how to find out the real essence of each and every activity.

I feel, this is the kind of education one should give to his child that is how to seek the real essence of each and everything especially the purpose of one’s own existence. I am working in Mirambika with this attitude and I expect it from all others who are related with Mirambika be it a child or a parent or a diya. Education to me is a constant search to find out the real purpose of one’s own existence. This is a lifelong process to know one’s own being, to integrate one’s own being. I want each being of Mirambika to become a real integrated being who knows the true purpose of his existence.

{Written during a Wednesday class}

6th December, 2008

Lord,
*Joyful contemplation,    *Sudha Bhakti,   *Sunlit path,   * Surrender,    *Pure faith

I ask from Thee all these things, With your grace everything is possible, May my unhappiness, hatred disappear and I be open to receive your Light which will transform my nature. I aspire Mother for pure aspiration.

I chose this topic because I felt whatever you do you need to reflect back and see what you are doing. This is the base upon which your growth depends. Self reflection means going within and it is a process to know your own self in a better way.

Till now what I have felt is that self reflections can be of various forms. Sometime it comes as a prayer, sometime I question myself and try to seek answer from within, sometime I analyze my actions and reactions and sometime I feel one part is observing the other parts.

 

An experience

I see my self’s flight to the land of an unknown territory
Where beauty is the essence of living
All creation seems there at beauty’s festival
The psychic is fully manifested in the physical
What I have read in the books till now
I saw that happening.

Grace or a miracle or an opportunity…………………………….
Who did this?
What should I call it?
But who is this ‘I’, who wants to give a name and form?
What is important is, it happened and it happened marvelously
Leaving a deep impact upon myself
I live in that moment thoroughly
I breathe its air full heartedly.

I learn the art of simple living,
I learn the art of caring,
I learn the art of organizing,
I learn the art of being in a state of receptivity,
I learn the art of balancing the self with its thousand contradictions,
I learn the art of smiling,
I learn the art of loving and giving,
And the best is, I learn the art of learning.

I know that words are always mere words,
Real feeling is something beyond these words.
But still, with my whole being,
I would like to express in few words what I believe for all these….

Gratitude to Thee O Lord for all those marvelous moments you have given to this ignorant little creature,
Gratitude to your instruments for they have materialize this impossibility,
Gratitude to my friends and my co-travelers for their love and support,
Gratitude to my own self for living this splendid moment……………………

19th September, 2008
Mother,
Didi today asked how you will prepare children to live their life?

Who will prepare whom? Whether I am preparing the children or the children are preparing me? Probably both are preparing each other, each day learning from each other.

Bonding is the first necessity which leads to all other aspects of growth. This bonding is based on love and trust. When one is having these two qualities the journey become joyful and life becomes meaningful. There are certain things which I aspire for myself and want that to happen. Probably in some way I want that for children also. Whether I am working towards that or not is not known to me. Few things I am trying. What I am trying?

Trying to give children an environment where they can learn the art of living where each and every activity is important like, how to sit, how to walk, how to eat, how to talk etc. Along with this knowing the reason of doing everything. How much I am trying to grow and progress. If I am growing, then there is no doubt that children are growing. Because we both imbibe the vibrations of each other.

28th February, 2009

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I saw the vast blue sky
The sky asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The sky smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I heard the twittering of the birds
The birds asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The birds smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I saw flowers blooming happily
The flowers asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The flowers smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I saw the light of the sun
The sun asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The sun smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I saw the vast deep ocean
The ocean asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The ocean smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I saw the white snow peaked mountains
The mountains asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The mountains smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, tried to see my soul
I saw the lush green forest
The forest asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I replied, “I am looking for my soul”
The forest smiled and said nothing.

I looked inside, I saw nothing
I asked, “O soul, where are you? Why am I not able to see you?”
I heard the soft whispering, “I am there always with you”
I asked, “Why then I am not able to see you?”
The voice replied, “You have seen me”
I asked, “How do you look like?”
The voice replied,
“I am the vastness of the sky”, “I am the twittering of the birds”
“I am the blooming of the flowers”, “I am the light of the sun”
“I am the deepness of the ocean”, “I am the peace of the mountains”
“I am the greenness of the forest”, “I am in all and all are in me”

A deep calmness pervaded me.
I smiled.